Some people go to the beach for their holidays, some maybe travel the world, a spot of camping with the family or maybe just relaxing at home. Then there are those who think it much more enjoyable to spend 5 days mountain biking through central Australia.
Of course if one was to take the latter option they would of course ensure plenty of preparation prior to the event. Miles in the legs, skills brushed upon, familiarise yourself with the pitfalls of night riding and you'll have a jolly old time.
Then there are those who think a few rides beforehand, a bit of new kit and we'll wing it from there.
Guess which category I fit into.
The answer to that question probably lies in the fact that it is 1am in the morning, prior to the final 40km, and I'm lying in bed typing this email rather than resting up to power through to the finish line.
Why am I still awake, is it all the caffeine from the torq gels, maybe just the excitement of completing my first night race. No - the answer is much simpler, I can not sleep on my back.
Then sleep on your side I hear you say, problem solved - well here in lies the problem of the novice mountain biker. To understand the crux of the problem I probably need to recap the past 4 days.
Day 1 - 49km
Under clear skies we head off. Wise words from my learned colleague Juliet are pace yourself - they'll go out to hard and blow themselves up for the rest of the week - don't fall into that trap. Well I'm to clever for that of course. However the first 5km is on bitumen. With a road cycling background we're traveling along at a nice pace, hey how good is that. Oh bugger my water bladder is leaking - never mind I've got 500ml of torq energizer, nearly the recommended amount for an 80kg guy to get through the next 2 hours.
Off the bitumen and onto the 4wd track - heh what happened to Juliet, she's dropped off behind me. Never mind 8k down the legs are feeling good and I'm moving through the pack. Up to the barb wire fence, hop over that, up the next hill this is feeling great - down the next hill - don't mind me riders as you go past, I just thought this was an ideal spot for a little lie down; bruise and cut number 1 now accounted for.
Dust yourself off, quick drink of water (oh that's right it's all leaked
out) and away we go again. Still smiling.
Another 5-6k down, few more riders going past and a couple of testy little loose bits, not like back home in Hobart. Wow these laser helmets are good.
That was an almighty thud but didn't hurt my head at all. Can't say the same for my shoulder though.
Oh there goes Juliet - see you at the finish line - look I'm still smiling.
20k down and oops I've lost a screw in my cleat. My right foot now won't clip out. Where the he'll is that water station again.
Make it to the water station, you beauty another 500ml of torq to get me through the next 25k back on the recommended dosage again. Thanks to the volunteers for filling my water bottle, I couldn't quite manage to clip out.
Another 5k, heh I can clip out now - on that last crash I've managed to rip my shoe off and leave the cleat in the pedal. Never mind that right knee is recovering from surgery and probably shouldn't be pulling on the pedals for the next 20k (or about 20k as I seem to have lost my polar out here somewhere).
Well after some ungodly time I limp across the line, home to wash the grazes and treat the bruises, 49k down - 200k to go, maybe a little more preparation would have been handy, but heh I'm not working - so I'm still smiling.
Day 2 - 40 km
A walk in the park after yesterday surely. All my bad luck is out of the way, today I won't go out to hard, sit back relax and enjoy - if only I could keep up with this crazy speed through town.
But it's alright - a little sore- but I'm still smiling.
Across the railway track and things are looking great. New cleat, new water bladder this will be fun.
Bugger those rocks really can slice your sidewalls can't they. And doesn't look like stan's is going to seal this baby. Patch on, now know how to use
co2 canisters, only took 2 goes and away we go. Another 5k down, and maybe this baby hasn't sealed.
Last canister, bugger that has blown my valve out. That's ok tube in, wonder if I can blow this little sucker up with my mouth. Heh I'm in luck here comes a guy pushing his bike, thanks for the canister, sorry I couldn't help you out with a tube.
From here it is cruise through the next 20 km, maybe I'll still beat someone back?
Heh and no crashes - that I can remember. Got to be still smiling.
Oh that's right up Anzac hill tonight - 300m on the road I've got to be smiling about that.
Wow those bike shoes really don't want to go back on, but heh this will be a hoot. Just discovered it is very hard to keep smiling whilst coughing up a lung. But heh stage win for Juliet, got to keep smiling.
Day 3 - 77km
I haven't slept all night for fear. This is twice as long as ive ever ridden a mtb before- and I've got to ride 5k just to get to the start line.
They tell me the first 25k is challenging, thankfully only another 52k once you get to that point.
Is that a smile or more a nervous grimace, as the starters siren goes off.
25k down and only 1 more bruise added. That's worth a smile.
Now on to the bike track. Cruise along, conserve the legs and admire the view, hook onto a bunch and get a tow. But then again triathlons are non drafting - let's hit the time trial position and go like merry hell.
By god how long does this highway go for, obviously a lot longer than my water bottle.
Thankfully a water station in site - your out of water - hmm that's alright just keep smiling.
Red dirt and sand, it's not quite bitumen, thankfully a tow from Georgia and co gets my head out of a dark place and over the ridge. 5k of smooth pedalling to go and the volunteers at the check point have water now I'm smiling.
Along the road and hook a left into the bmx track, that wasn't too bad, oh bugger left hamstring has just cramped, this could be embarrassing if I can't get up the ramp.
Over the line in 4hr40; fears conquered, legs trashed and I'm still smiling.
Day 4 - 23k time trial and 23k night ride
Well how many people will I hold up on the time trial? Luckily off very early.
Heh - sweet single track that was fun - only 1 minor off, and the graze blends in with the others.
Over the line in 1h 24 and definitely smiling.
Ok this night riding can't be too bad. I've done the course before, I'm kitted up with ay-up lights and I'm right to go.
First 8k and this great fun - oops wrong line there and over the handlebars, that shoulder from day 1 doesn't seem to have healed that well.
Well back on the horse, smile, and away we go - let's put that all down to the inexperience of night riding.
I probably should put falls 2,3,4 and 5 down to the inexperience of night riding also. I think fall 2 broke my confidence, fall 3 broke my lights (there's a battery out there somewhere - but not the ayups), fall 4 broke my spirit and fall 5 may have broke my shoulder.
Thanks Jo for letting me sit behind over the hill - across the line - 20 minutes slower than this morning, now less a light as well as a polar - but guess what there's food and warmth inside - so I'm still smiling.
Well it's now 2.30 and yes the reason I can't sleep is that I have never been able to sleep on my back, and that there is not one other piece of my body that doesn't scream out with pain when I lie on it. It's very hard to smile when in a constant state of pain.
But on the bright side 210k down and only 50k to go.
Am I having fun - hell yes. Would I rather be at the beach - hell no.
Would I do it all again - sure would, but maybe with a little more preparation.
Hopefully in another 12 hours I'll be STILL SMILING.
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